shdowwar

Erik Heath

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The morning by shdowwar, literature

Summer in Winter by shdowwar, literature

Literature

Summer in Winter

Summer in the Midst of Winter 1/23/05 I remember back when we were young winter held nothing but different summer fun we go out racing among the trees, and you and I would laugh as we fell on our knees the snow blowing up around us like a cloud laughing and calling, racing the snowflakes down winter now holds none of this and all of our activities hold no bliss when we grow up, I guess our outlooks change and we busy ourselves with the lives we must arrange what I would give for a childs heart and never having to go away or ever part from those white, lovely, snow filled days running and sliding in that cold winter way I guess

Those eyes by shdowwar, literature

Literature

Those eyes

I can't tell you how long ago it started. You see, I was at lunch, watching all of the students as I often do. I don't know if I spotted her walking into the cafeteria or if I saw her once she had sat down or if I had gotten up to get something and seen her or even what was for lunch that day. I suppose thats why I couldn't even tell you when it was that I first noticed her. Not that noticed her would be a good description of what happened. Ever look at someone, and have them then look at you? Most of the time, you hold their gaze for a minute, then move your eyes onto something else out of courtosey Or you look away quickly, shyly adm

If it were simpler by shdowwar, literature

It was the Job by shdowwar, literature

Literature

It was the Job

It was the Job It wasn't the sirens or the flashing lights that did it for him nowadays. He had outgrown that petty simplicity that drew others into the service and then pushed them out when they realized the work behind it. It had become the work behind the scenes. Not just the speed, not the rush, not the exhilaration of ripping across the city through red lights and passing anything in their way. It was the job. Traditions, behaviors, the look that these people had. It wasn't the fact that they put it all on the line every day. They didn't think about that. It wasn't the brotherhood they developed, five or so people living togethe

I cannot love another by shdowwar, literature

Literature

I cannot love another

I cannot love another She told me today that she loved me and that I was her true love her love was guided by what we had but our love was not she saw it as a divine thing that no one and nothing could break I was simple and caring not hurting or mean always thinking and believing never evil or plotting but it was not to be and so it wasn't as I already had another her thoughts of a life with me could never come true and I suppose that I wonder what would have happened but it isn't in the cards and never can be for I belong to another and although our relationship is sometimes rocky it is true and real I feel that hers

Sitting in the Rain by shdowwar, literature

Fatigue by shdowwar, literature

Literature

Fatigue

Fatigue When I get up in the morning I still want to sleep Getting up is getting harder As the shifts get longer And as the shifts get longer The work gets harder Getting up is hard enough Why does it pass on to work So the work gets harder More intense and heavier My back aches in soreness Maybe I work too much Sometimes the only way to fix it Is to lie down for a while But if I do, I'll fall asleep And I can't miss work What do I need to work for? Is it glory or just sadism? An evil thought that working Will somehow fulfill me Sadism sounds good A masochistic self worth Work hard now And work returns the favor But a

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Recenter v1 by shdowwar, literature

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Recenter v1

Recenter Like a smack to the head with an emotional baseball bat. Her simple phrase reminding me of promises made to another. The shot hitting, throwing me. What do I say? What was I doing? CHORUS: How had I let myself get so far away from center? I need to go back. Maybe a blast in the head is what I needed to recenter. = I had wandered so far from her my mind taking a backseat to lust. Why had i gone and looked for it? I had it and yet greedily wanted more. She gave me the gift of sense with a weapon of words she shot me. CHORUS So where do I start over again I'm still reeling but I gotta move on... C

Black Haiku by shdowwar, literature

A Shadow by shdowwar, literature

Literature

A Shadow

A Shadow A shadow is silent But this one is not For it's headphones play music That would make your ears rot. A shadow moves only When it's master does too But this shadow seems like It's just passing through A shadow at night Is often unknown But an attraction to night This one has grown A shadow is he Who walks in my place He controls my body The look on my face A shadow I am Walking this land Embracing the darkness Like closing my hand

A Promise 4-17-02 by shdowwar, literature

Literature

A Promise 4-17-02

A Promise 4/17/02 I made you a promise to write you a poem. But I found that when I did I couldn't read it. It cut too deep, a weapon of words. The emotion was too raw, too unfettered and real. And even today, I can not read that poem without hurt. They say poetry is like a whisper in the night. But I couldn't read this night or day. For it spoke of me and the repressed me. Words that I had never said to anyone before. Those words spoke the feeling that hides deep in my soul. And while I have held it back it surfaced in those words. And you ask to see it, but I still can not show you. For if I did show you, would t

Imperfection by shdowwar, literature

Hypothetically by shdowwar, literature

Literature

Hypothetically

Hypothetically Hypothetically, I don't exist. Of course, hypothetically, neither do you. Maybe we do exist, but we aren't living anywhere- It's a hypothetical plane of existence instead. Let us suppose, just for a moment, That you and I really do exist. Where would you and I be in a hypothetical world? Mind you, fantasy is reality when seen Only through the looking glass of the mind; But hypothetically, would we be lovers? Would we be the supposed perfect couple? Hypothetically, would I find you asleep Next to me in my bed in the morning? Or would you be the fantasy that exists only In dreams stolen from us as the morning sun r

Fatigue by shdowwar, literature

Literature

Fatigue

Sitting in the Rain by shdowwar, literature

I cannot love another by shdowwar, literature

Literature

I cannot love another

It was the Job by shdowwar, literature

Literature

It was the Job

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About shdowwar

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United States
Deviant for 22 years
He / Him

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Current Residence: New York STATE, not the blasted city...
Favourite style of art: 3-Dimensional Abstract/Mechanical
MP3 player of choice: Foobar2000
Favourite cartoon character: Calvin and Hobbes

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shdowwar

Feb 28, 2009

Real Life

0 min read

Welcome to Real Life, and how much it sucks at times. Trying to get too many projects off the ground. I posted on my facebook the other day the truth that if my schedule isn't full, I'm not happy.  Couple that same full schedule with a distinct lack of sleep and a probable case of pneumonia, and I'm wiped.  I'm not happy.  At all. But you didn't come here to read me whine.  Quite frankly I don't know why you would be reading my journal.  I don't post, have very limited artistic ability, and just don't spend any time on this site.  Which is a shame.  This site is AWESOME and the abilities of the others that are here are AWESOME.  Me?  I'm ju

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shdowwar

Jul 12, 2007

It's hot out.

0 min read

And I don't like hot weather.  No A/C for the whole apartment.  Bummer.

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shdowwar

Feb 8, 2005

Once a month?

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Is this all I can manage?  Once a month?  I should be able to write here more often than that... Nothing too exciting going on in this neck of the woods.  I posted up that quick poem I wrote about summer in the middle of winter, and thank yous go out to all of the people that responded.  It's good to know that someone loves me! I keep wandering the site, and if you can see my list of watches (which I dont think you can as my subscription lapsed) you will see a large number of photographers who continually post pictures of beautiful women in beautiful poses.  I am just amazed at these people, and hope to add more of them to my watch list eve